What’s 2.0 Version of Yours
Do you have feeling that your life is just passing by and you are not making the most of it?
Is it that, at times you feel that something is missing deep inside?
Does this thought cross over your mind that there could have been something more?
That’s because we are living someone else’s life. But why? Because we allowed someone to influence us and also determine our choices? As time passed by, we took this as what life is all about and started living life for others, sabotaging our dreams and desires. We started pleasing others. We have been conditioned to be like this only. There are very few people who live by their terms.
Let me make you understand the statements made by me with simple example
- It’s a flash back route that I am taking. Remember your child hood. When you were too small to communicate you lived your life as per your terms. You cried when you were hungry and you were fed. People waited for your reaction to take action to please you. Quite nostalgic no. Yeah!
But as you started growing the environment around you rather the surroundings around you started playing with you. You were told what to do and what not to do. Society told you how to behave. Parents guided you to which course to take. Especially in India in my times it was either becoming and Engineer or Doctor or of you do not qualify for either of them then try to join Indian administrative services. Cutting the story short – you get married and then bringing up children and you are all lost in them. But you in your childhood had dreamt a different life
What has happened is that the social pressure is deceiving—we all become prey without noticing it. Before we realize we lost control of our lives, we end up envying how other people live. We can only see the greener grass—ours is never good enough. Living for others, i.e., living to please others, living for external validation & approval, and caring about what others think.
Believe me you are not alone in this journey. People will have multiple hopes from you and will keep varying from person to person based on their social bonding. Let’s understand this with another family drama:
- Expectation of your wife from you will be different from what your mother will have from you or that of your children from you will be different from your mother and your wife and it will keep changing with changing times and day.
And you cannot please everyone. It’s like chasing a mirage.
So, I have hit the nail and it’s 99% accurate you have to agree it.
Anticipation is another distraction to your life. We do things in anticipation and when that does not happen, we feel deprived and unfair. Many people bear resentment when the outcome of an event is less than they imagined it would be, even if their expectation was based on unreasonable assumptions.
By trying to please everyone, we end up pleasing no one—ourselves included. Expectations are an illusion. That’s why most people don’t live the life they want. They feel frustrated and disappointed.
Or If we are not living our life as per our own desire or dream then we generally feel dissatisfied due to lack of meaning or purpose that we are getting from our daily life.
Maybe we don’t find satisfaction in our job. Maybe we’re bored with the town we’ve been living in. Maybe we haven’t found any hobbies or activities that we’re passionate about or excited about. Maybe we even watch TV most days just to pass the time. Whatever our particular situation is, our life may feel dull, unsatisfying, or uninspiring.
How do you bridge the GAP of frustration?
Simple philosophy is reframing the relationship quotient with expectations. You need to pushback. If you do not do so people assume it is okay with you. To stop punishing yourself and to bridge the gap of frustration the first and foremost thing that you need to do is to start loving yourself. And to start loving yourself you need to ensure that others stop defining your choices.
Start defining your choices and stop your expectations from others. This is in my view is self-love. Start doing things that you enjoy doing, things that give you pleasure and self-satisfaction. Live life to the fullest.
I summarize it in simple four points
- Fall in love with yourself
- Stop thinking, what others say about you. Talk to your inner self. Since what people think about you is not in your control i.e. you cannot control what other have opinion about you.
- Do not allow others to impose their desires on you. Draw a limiting line, we in India call it “Laxman Rekha”.
- Stop expecting and stop judging others
“Accept others as they are and once you relaise that Life is not perfect—removing expectations will let you appreciate your life as is.”
Learning to accept reality is hard, but it’s a significant step towards finding calm and peace. Removing expectations doesn’t mean lowering your bar, but rather letting go of the unnecessary pressure. Only when we are relaxed can we give our best.
Any moment is a turning point if you decide to make the most of it. You are in charge. Love your life. Accept the worst and hope for the best.
The second step towards life is
“To regain that passion for the life you want, you must recover ownership of your choices.”
If you asked a million people, you might get a million different answers about what it means to live life to the fullest. For some, it might involve traveling. For others, it could mean raising a family. Still others may be on a mission to solve some important social problem. What’s common among these definitions is that each one involves finding meaning or purpose in what one is doing or how one is spending their time—the life is one that is exciting or fulfilling for the individual.
Remember that your definition of a full life might differ from the next person. We need to take some specific actions if we’re looking to live a meaningful life as per our own terms which is more fulfilling. Let’s talk about few strategies that can help you start exploring potential ways to live your life the way you want to live and enjoy it to the fullest.
- Positive Emotions: To implement this strategy in your life, try to find time in your calendar and start doing activities that help you relax, and which you find enjoyable. If you have a few minutes, pause now and write a list of as many enjoyable activities as you can think of. Then, try to schedule one per day. Even if you only have 5 minutes, this time can help you boost positive emotions and feel more like you’re living your best life.
- Start Writing or Journaling: Start visualizing what your life would look like if you were living it to the fullest. How would you be spending your time? Who would you be with? Where would you be?
Then, use this visualization to create a list of things that contribute to you living your life to the fullest. For example, if ‘love’ is one of the items that you think would help you live your life more fully, ask yourself, “what does love mean to you?” Is it romantic love, family love, friendship love? And how would you go about bringing more love into your life, even if only in small ways at first? Somewhat of a “Personal mission statement or Your Vision 2.0” to help you create the life you want.
I have developed a document “Your Vision2.0” which you can download and work on it. For this you need to go to Store section on my site www.manishadda.com and define your happiness quotient and work on it to live your life the way you would like to be and where you would like to see yourself in the coming 10 years from now in 3 different stage of 3 + 3 + 4 years for easy measurement of progress.
Apart from this you should indulge yourself in following activities to give more meaning to your life. This will give you more satisfaction and will help you in your vision document 2.0
- Practicing Kindness: Being kind to others for no specific reason gives us more satisfaction. This will help you in getting more socially connected and make you feel about lives having more meaning.
- Fill your life with Gratitude: This is the easiest way of making your life more meaningful. Show gratitude to god and society for the good things that we already have on our lives.